The Finacial Blues

Ok, sorry for the lack of journal updates; it's been fairly non-eventful around here.  I'm having severe financial problems, and that's a huge stress.  I can't work while I'm in school due to my learning disability, and yet I can't get the financial aid I need.  The stupid system thinks my parents and I can fork over thousands of dollars.  Yes, we have money, but it's tied up in retirement funds that cannot be touched without loosing almost half of it in fines.  Plus, we have a ton of other expenses, such as a family of seven, two of whom are in college and one who's serving a two-year unpaid mission for our church.  If I were a member of a minority group, I'd have a much easier time getting financial aid.  I apologize if that sounds a little racy, but it is NOT.  It is a simple, undisputable fact.  There are gazillions of scholarships and loans available for Blacks, Gays, Asians, Hispanics, Martians, etc. (OK, maybe not Martians..), but none for Anglo-Saxon middle-class Christians with severe ADHD.  Yeah, there is aid for ADHD students, but my family is "too rich".  How sad.  Too poor to afford school, too rich to have help.  What a miserable gap.  So much for "equality" in this country.  Hey, I'm half Canadian, does that count?

Sorry if I sound bitter, but tuition is due today, and I had to use some of my Christmas and Birthday money I've been slowly saving for years for the Adobe Creative Suite program package (so I can work on my webcomic at home) in order to pay for school and stuff this quarter.  I am BEYOND upset right now.  In addition, I haven't been able to get a summer job for years because I don't drive (I'm a slave to the bus schedule), I have a hand condition that prevents me from working with food and strong cleaning chemicals, I don't have "enough experience" in ANY category, and I don't work on Sundays for religious reasons.  I want so much to be able to support myself, and instead I'm forced to rely on others.  I'm told that God must have something for me to learn from this situation and I'm cool with that..though I do hope I can learn whatever this lesson is already so I can get a job and support myself before I go CRAZY.